


Close Encounter of the Odd Kind

by NotAnonymousAnonymous



Category: Code Lyoko, Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Abduction, Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Alien Technology, Anal Probing, Anal Sex, Comedy, First Time, Flavored Alien Cum, Insults, Laboratories, Light Bondage, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Prostate Massage, Science Fiction, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Humor, Sounding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAnonymousAnonymous/pseuds/NotAnonymousAnonymous
Summary: GIR abducts humanity’s “best warrior” for Zim to experiment on. After some probing, the experimenter becomes the experimented. Sexual hijinks ensue.
Relationships: Odd Della Robbia/Zim (Invader Zim)
Kudos: 11





	Close Encounter of the Odd Kind

Odd felt a chilly breeze blowing over him and a hard, cold object down his back. He opened his eyes, senses still focusing after waking up, to see a gray and purple ceiling covered in tubes, wires, and other items he couldn’t identify. Wherever he was, it definitely wasn’t his dorm room. He attempted to sit up, but found his legs and arms were clamped down.

“Uh, hello? Ulrich? Kiwi? Jeremy?”

“He's awake!” Came a sharp, high voice somewhere he could not see.

“What?” Odd said, twisting his head towards the voice, finding that unlike his limbs, it was not bound in place. He could see dimly lit magenta walls around him and several tanks full of water with creatures in them, most of which he couldn’t identify. In front of one of the tanks stood a small robot with blue eyes, holding a baguette and looking at him. Another creature walked into his field of view, this one with over-sized purple eyes, green skin, and a violet tunic.

“GIR! I asked you to bring me the strongest human warrior you could find. Does that look like it fits that description?” The green-skinned creature demanded, pointing at Odd, but looking at the robot.

“I don’t know, but I got a baguette there, too!” GIR responded.

“Baguette? You mean to tell me it’s French? Of all the places you could go! Forget it, it will have to do. I am sure I can find something to do with it. You are dismissed for now.”

“YES SIR!”

The robot’s eyes turned red as he answered, but immediately turned back to blue, and it pranced out of the room waving its arms aimlessly.

“Now I know I’m still dreaming,” Odd remarked.

“You are not dreaming, Earthling!” Zim yelled, turning to face him. “You are indeed meeting the great Invader Zim!” He finished with a cartoonish maniacal laugh.

“Great Zim? Are you a magician or something?”

“No, human scum! I am the forward scout of the Irken Empire! I have been sent to annihilate you!”

“Ah, I get it,” Odd responded, unimpressed and still not getting it. “But why do you have me clamped naked to a table, then? By the way, your decorating could use some work. Needs more light.”

“Do not talk about our decorating!” Zim shouted, pounding his hand on the table holding Odd. “Preferably, do not talk at all! Your voice is annoying to us and your input is not required. You are here as a test subject. I intend to analyze the best specimens of humanity to locate your weaknesses.”

“I’m one of the best specimens of humanity? I always knew it! Take that, Ulrich! Number one human as voted by alien invaders!”

Zim dug his palm into his face in frustration. “If you won’t be quiet, I will get this done as quickly as possible.” The alien grabbed what looked like a TV remote from a nearby table. “I will begin with the FLUID SAMPLE!” He pressed a button on the controller; in response, a thin, tentacle-like device lowered from the bundle of instruments hanging from the ceiling. It moved like an eel, swimming through the air, hovering over Odd until it closed in on his crotch and aligned with the tip of his exposed penis. After a pause, it ejected a gelatinous fluid and shot forward.

Odd gasped as the device entered him and slid down his urethra. The stretching brought discomfort bordering, but not quite reaching, pain; the probe was smooth and slick, sliding without resistance, but was far larger than could comfortably fit where it was going. The tightness sharpened as the probe pierced his prostate, followed by a tinge of pain as it forced through his sphincter, before he was left with only a sensation of fullness throughout his hardening length.

“Hey, that was rather intrusive!” Odd yelled.

“OF COURSE IT WAS! What did you expect?”

Zim punctuated his response with another button pressure. A gushing sensation came down Odd’s length as the probe expanded, stretching him even more.

“BLASTED DEVICE! It is in reverse. GIR! Where is the instruction manual for the human fluid extractor?”

“Ah! Turn it off!” The gushing was quickly filling him, building pressure in his bladder, pushing him to strain against his bindings. He may not have been a stranger to skipping the bathroom before a test, but the situation was surpassing any previous stresses induced by energy drinks and math. He looked down at the tube jammed into him and saw that, ever so slightly, his abdomen was expanding. He tried to squeeze against the pressure, but it made the urgency worse, with only a few drops escaping from the tight space around the probe.

Zim hesitated before pressing another button, directly beside the one he previously pressed. Odd's discomfort instantly subsided. The previous desperation was replaced by a release far faster than any he could have mustered himself, as the sucking of the probe joined his own straining to empty himself in mere seconds. With a moan of pleasant relief, the last few drops were sucked from him and the device deactivated, automatically removing itself from him and retracting into the ceiling.

“All you had to do was ask!”

“Do you humans always have such unusual reactions to experimentation?” Zim asked, ignoring the objection in favor of examining Odd's flushed face, then turning his gaze towards his engorged, twitching penis. “I thought this was a reaction humans had to pleasure. Why are you complaining?”

“Uh...” Odd held the tone, trying to think of an answer that wouldn’t potentially get him into more trouble. “It’s complicated, there’s a lot to stimulate if you shove something up there in a human, even if it is uncomfortable or painful. Pain doesn’t mean something can’t be pleasurable.”

“FASCINATING!” Zim looked at the ceiling and shook his fist triumphantly. “This must be one of the HIDDEN STRENGTHS of humanity! I have never encountered a creature able to take pleasure in such ruthless procedures! No wonder the Tallest sent me to counter such a resilient adversary!”

“The who?”

“Oh no, I have said too much! I cannot reveal our classified hierarchical structures such as social ordering based on height or the true power the control brains exert outside of that social hierarchy! Humans might use it to undermine our very existence!”

“I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you done now? This was already way more science than me and my insides are comfortable with.”

“YOUR INSIDES ARE ONLY BEING PREPARED! Speaking of which.”

With another manipulation of the exam table controls, Odd’s ankle shackles slid outward, enough to fully expose his perineum and anus to the cold air of the room.

“Come on! I already know where this is going!”

A hole in the exam table opened from which another tube-like instrument arose. Unlike the last, the one was nearly an inch across, with a large opening in the middle surrounded by a ring of smaller openings, glistening with a coating of some sort of lubricant.

“I knew it! I knew it! Are you going to inflate me from the other end now? I’m going to file a complaint with your supervisor! Tallest, isn’t it? What’s their phone number!?”

“Shut up shut up shut up! I am not going to inflate you! That was an equipment malfunction! This is purely to ensure we obtain the best data. And why is your voice so annoying? It sounds like a swarm of Corellian wasps!”

“Well, I’m sorry if I-”

The new instrument pushing itself into Odd cut his objections off, twisting his face in a surprised discomfort.

“Interesting… an entry that usually takes more force,” Zim commented.

“HEY! Weren’t you just acting like you didn’t know anything about human anatomy?”

Ignoring him, Zim turned the machine on in proper. The muffled sound of a motor began from somewhere under the table and the instrument inside Odd, which happened to have stopped directly under his prostate, began to vibrate and shake, bringing his gone-flaccid penis back to full attention.

Odd groaned, regaining his composure only as the device moved deeper into him, the depth deadening the vibrations against his pleasure center. Something was being injected into him in pulsed bursts, he could feel the gushing and stretching, it was slightly cold; but even after several seconds, the pressure remained localized to a specific spot moving up his abdomen.

“You just said you weren’t going to inflate me again! This isn’t that kind of story!”

“Calm down, worm baby! You are not being ‘inflated,’ the purpose of this device is to clean the insides of dirty mammalian anatomy for further experimentation. The TooterRooter 3000 both squirts and sucks for the deepest clean! At least, that’s what they said on the ad.”

The absurd name and explanation of the device made Odd laugh uncontrollably, but even so, they solved the mystery of the unusual sensations traveling through his insides. Without further complaint, Odd relaxed and let the process continue, taking in the continuing vibrations. Eventually the course to the bottom-right of his abdomen completed and the vibrations stopped. As it slid out the, Odd was left with nothing more than a vague feeling of emptiness inside him.

“That was great, I need one of these things,” Odd commented as the device exited him with a soft pop and retracted into the table.

“I am glad it works! Finally something worth 3 payments of $19.95. Now, with the preparation completed, I can begin the true examination!”

Another device rose from the table from the same place the previous just disappeared into. This one was slightly narrower, with a smooth, clear head.

“Oh come! Are you really going to stick a THIRD metallic alien tube thingy in me?”

Zim scrunched his face in annoyance. “That’s why you’re here. I do not want your input, just be quiet!”

“Hey, you want to hear what I have to say, because I have a better idea. At least, if you really want to know about humans.”

“What is that?” Zim asked, raising an intrigued eyebrow.

“You want to know the true weakness of humans, don't you? What if I happened to know it?” Odd said as a sly grin crossed his face.

Zim's divided attention snapped into focus on Odd. “THAT IS A PRIMARY OBJECTIVE OF MY MISSION! You must show me!”

“Alright, but I’m not saying anything until you let me off this table! Have you ever even considered installing cushions? These restrains are starting to chafe!”

“That would be a violation of protocol. You may be dangerous! You might try to steal our vital fluids!” Zim pointed accusingly at the naked French-Italian.

“I can’t help you understand humanity’s biggest weakness, then. Go ahead, then, stick your other tube thingy up my ass.”

“FINE!” Zim yelled in resignation. “Reward requires risk! Don’t tell the Tallest I broke protocol.”

After some manipulation of the exam table controls, during which Odd feared how badly another operator error might twist him into a pretzel, the metal rings holding his limbs in place retracted and disappeared, leaving him free to move. Only as he did so, sitting up slowly as to not raise any alarm with his abductor, did he realize how bad the examination table had been for his back and neck.

“About time. I wonder how concerned I should be that the only thing aching right now is my back.” Odd accentuated the point massaging his sides.

“I let you go, now tell me about your weakness so I can exterminate all of you disgusting Earth Monkeys! TELL ME!”

Odd flopped his legs over the side of the exam table, so that he could face Zim properly for the first time.

“A deal’s a deal. I may not be a scientist, but if you ask me, sexuality and affection are the greatest human weakness. My entire species needs them, but many misuse them to gain power over others.”

“Sexuality? The means by which you disgusting creatures duplicate yourselves? Of course that is a weakness! Without that your puny lifespans would end you in a moment! You use it to spread your filth with disgusting spawn all over the planet!”

“That’s not what I meant! Sexuality doesn’t have to have anything to do with ‘duplicating’ ourselves. What I’m getting at is that participating in sexual activities is a requirement of humans, even if it has no other purpose.”

“I see,” Zim said, rubbing his face in thought. “Much like our need for snacks. Very well then, you must show us how to partake in this human ‘sexuality’ so we can exploit it to our ends!”

Odd’s mouth fell open in surprise. “Hang on there, I don’t think you know what you’re asking for. Do you even know what human sexuality involves?”

“Of course! It is documented all across your Earth media. You have illustrated its importance to the mission, so I must know more.”

“I’m not going to say no to that offer,” Odd said with a giant smile. First human to fuck an alien? No one could call him a braggart for that accomplishment. “I only have one condition, I need something more comfortable than this table. Do you have a bed or a couch, or something?”

“Couch?” Zim narrowed his eyes.

“It’s like a chair, but soft, and wide enough for three or four people.”

“YES! We have one of those in the living room!”

“Living room? This isn’t a spaceship?”

“No, this is an Irken command base! Now, TO THE COUCH!”

Odd jumped off the table, bare feet slapping against the cold metal floor. He looked at Zim, who was noticeably shorter now that Odd stood up straight beside him. “Go!” Zim commanded, pointing to a door on the far wall of the lab. Odd shrugged.

Following a maze of halls, ladders, and even an elevator, directed by Zim’s prodding of his bare behind, Odd eventually reached a door that opened into a sun-lit living room. Or, at least, some facsimile of a living room, designed by someone who had never seen one first hand.

“There it is, the couch,” Zim said, pointing. “Now show me. SHOW MEEEE!”

“You turned eager pretty quick,” Odd said. “I still don’t know if you’re ready for what you signed up for, but everybody has to have a first.” He grabbed Zim’s arm and pulled both of them onto the couch.

“AAAAAAA! What is the meaning of this? Release me! GIR, SAVE ME!”

Zim flailed his hands about as if trying to escape, despite having already been let go. GIR failed to appear.

“You really need to calm down,” Odd said, placing his hand on Zim’s upper arm, rubbing it as it twitched in alarm. “This is going to be pretty physical. Remember what you saw on the internet? This was your idea.”

“I am calm!” Zim scoffed. “As objectionable as this is, I must do it for the sake of the mission. Do what you must! Betray your people and teach me to utilize this power.”

Odd smiled. This was going better than expected; Zim was letting him control the situation, and with luck, it wouldn’t be long until he was going where no man had gone before.

“First, let’s get rid of these.” Odd grabbed Zim’s gloves and pulled them off. The alien’s fingers were thin and long, coming to a point, but lacked any claws or nails. “Interesting,” Odd remarked, rubbing one of Zim’s hands with his own.

“What are you doing?”

Realizing he had been distracted, Odd dropped the alien’s hand. “Just thinking,” he said as he turned his body towards Zim, while also turning the alien’s body towards his. The motion slid his fully-erect penis across Zim’s tunic, smearing a line of pre-cum across it, before he pushed forward, lodging its length between them.

With a deep breath, Odd closed his eyes and planted his mouth on Zim’s. He ran his tongue across the not-quite-lips of the invader, before sliding it into his mouth, which tasted intensely sweet and vaguely of Mountain Dew. Odd lost himself in wondering what other alien fluids might taste like, but the first true surprise of Irken biology came after he heard Zim hum agreeably and shot his own tongue into Odd’s mouth, where its full length unrolled, pushing straight down his unexpecting throat. The idea of various anatomical parts being shoved there was not foreign to Odd, but the combination of the speed and depth, not helped by Zim wiggling it back and forth where it came to rest, made Odd retch and cough. He pushed back from Zim and landed face-up on the couch’s armrest, coughing uncontrollably as he fought to sit back up straight.

“What are you coughing for? You are the disgusting creature I am forced to exchange fluids with! YOUR MOUTH IS DISGUSTING, EARTH DOG!”

“Your tongue went half way down my throat!” Odd yelled between coughs.

“That is what ‘French Kissing’ is, is it not? You are French.”

Odd held his response while he worked to push away his choking fit and a feeling of oncoming hiccups. “I’m Italian! Anyway, even the French don’t have foot-long tongues. Let’s just skip the kissing for now.”

Returning to his previous position, but this time keeping his head several inches distant, Odd ran his hands down to the bottom of Zim’s tunic, then under it and up his back. He was again surprised as his hands met a large metallic object, which he had noted before but assumed was a backpack.

“Is that connected to you?” Odd asked, rubbing the skin below Zim’s PAK for emphasis.

“YES! It is an integral part of Irken biology, serving to-”

“I got it,” Odd said, cutting Zim off. He ignored the protruding device and moved his hands back down, hoping at least one part of male anatomy was the same across the universe. Keeping his hands along the alien’s back, he slid them into his pants, circling and squeezing the thankfully familiar butt-cheeks he found.

“What are you, uh,” Zim said, trailing off.

Odd would have wondered if he was having an effect, if the growing pressure against his balls from within Zim’s pants hadn’t already confirmed the fact. Sliding his hands around Zim’s legs, he indeed found a long, tapered protrusion, coiled partially against Zim’s crotch. Odd ran his hands along it, from base to tip, and sighed with relief upon finding it neither felt too monumental to surmount, nor possessed any elements immediately dangerous to his own biology. The last concern he had allayed by the discovery, Odd surrendered to the lust flashing over in him and pulled down Zim’s pants, freeing his green, conical penis to slap against Odd’s own.

Pulling back for a clearer view, Odd took the opportunity to turn the tables and examine Zim. His penis was long, but not intolerably so; it was about a quarter meter, and grew in thickness as it reached the base. There was a conspicuous lack of anything hanging below it; if Zim had balls, they were not visible, or not recognizable as such. Instead, the penis protruded from a slit that looked almost like a human vagina. Most interestingly, it seemed capable of prehensile motion, as it bent forward and upward, as if reaching out.

“I thought you said you didn’t have sexuality like us.”

“It is a vestigial organ! It serves no purpose in our species.”

“Are you sure about that?” Odd said, running his finger around the narrow tip, coaxing out a series of pale green droplets, which he assumed was some form of alien pre-cum. “It looks to me like it’s ready to serve a biological purpose.”

“Stop… talking. Your voice is-”

Zim moaned as Odd grabbed him at the base, giving several quick strokes, spilling more drops of the green fluid onto Odd’s legs.

“Who’s in charge now?” Odd said with a laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m getting to the point.” He emphasized with a tap of Zim’s tip.

Odd slid back to his side of the couch and finished pulling Zim’s pants off his legs, dropping them onto the floor. With the thing on the alien’s back, he decided against attempting to remove his shirt, not entirely sure if it was also connected. Instead, he laid down and wrapped his legs around Zim’s back. He moved his hand beneath his own balls, tight with anticipation, and guided the alien penis into himself as his legs to pull them together.

The combination of copious pre-cum dripping from Zim and a persisting dampness from Odd’s previous internal pressure washing made the penetration smooth and effortless. After a slow insertion, with each slip forward making Zim shudder, Odd’s legs finally pushed Zim fully inside of himself.

“Up to you now,” Odd said, sliding his lower legs up Zim’s back, giving him more room to move. “Forwards, backwards; in and out. You’ll get used to it.”

Zim pulled half way back and looked at his penis and where it was stuck. He stared for a moment, before grabbing Odd’s sides and pressing in again. He repeated the motion several times. Odd assumed he was enjoying himself, going by the exceptionally dumb look on his face, but even with the unnatural length inside him, the slow and awkward motions were doing little to satisfy Odd’s needs. Despite giving him what Odd considered more than enough time, it wasn’t going as well as hoped.

“Nice try, but you need more practice and I’m not in the mood to wait. Better let the master take over.” Without further warning, Odd pushed forward onto Zim, simultaneously knocking him onto his back and taking the superior position on top of him, legs at Zim’s side, digging into the couch in a knell. Before Zim situated himself in his new position, Odd started bobbing his body up and down, pushing and pulling at the alien genitalia still inside of him, his own cock and balls slapping onto Zim with each fall. Zim let out an overstimulated whine.

“Guess your training didn’t prepare you for a power-bottom,” Odd said, laughing at the absurdity of his own statement. Getting more comfortable with the motion and its interaction with Zim’s biology, he reached out and pressed his hands against Zim’s chest, letting him throw his weight to add a forward and backwards oscillation to his motions. The twisting and squeezing of Zim’s cock forced a series of vague utterances from the alien; the same motion consistently forced Zim’s base where it mattered inside of Odd, with the sliding in and out deep into his colon adding to the experience.

“Can you move that thing on its own? That would make this even better.”

“Maybe?” Zim squeezed his eyes together in effort, jolting his hips to the side several times. Odd slowed, distracted momentarily by the realization he was watching an alien trying to learn to control his prehensile penis, questioning again if he was actually dreaming. A jolt of sideways pressure inside pulled him back into the moment, then a more literal pulling against his insides squeezed backwards and forwards, hitting his prostate directly and traveling deeper. With a moan, a squirt of human pre-cum shot onto Zim’s chest.

“That’s amazing, keep that up!” Odd yelled, returning to his previous alien riding ferocity. Zim’s face became more concentrated and confident as they continued, just as his motions inside of Odd became more forceful and intentional. Yet he still moaned and occasionally gasped – just as a virgin alien might during his first contact, Odd thought. Meanwhile, alien appendage inside kept up its twisting, grabbing motions against his anatomy.

After going at it for what Odd figured must have been at least ten minutes, judging by the tiredness slowly creeping into his legs, he realized how strange it was the alien, who had been pent up for who knows how, had made it this long, with no signs of finishing. He had doubts he could have lasted as long if the positions were reversed and wondered if it was possible to not know how to orgasm; or perhaps, if Zim was right about lacking fully functional biology in that respect. Either way, the thought was abruptly pushed from his mind by a sudden tightness on his own penis.

“Who’s on top now, human?!” Zim narrowed his eyes. “Metaphorically speaking.”

Odd looked down to find Zim gripping his length with one hand and reaching for his balls with the other. The ball grab came hard, pressing the contents of Odd’s package into the alien’s palm with a slight pull. His body tightened, squeezing Zim several inches out of him.

Zim released Odd’s balls, now hanging noticeably lower, and stroked Odd with his narrow fingers. “Keep going, human!” He ordered. Odd obeyed, gyrating his hips against the appendage wiggling inside him. In turn, Zim quickened his masturbation, turning the simmering arousal of Odd’s anal pounding into a rising need to release.

“Ah- ha! That’s how you do it, finally got the hang of it,” Odd said, throwing back his head. He rose closer and closer to his peak, mind lost in the combined pressing, stroking, whirling, and sliding. Even the fact an alien was beneath him had been lost; his chaotic sensations left little room for sensible thought. However, one thought made it through: he was on the edge, an edge he would have already crossed had it not been for the repetitious slamming of Zim’s writhing alien penis against his insides, disrupting the muscular contractions of his body’s attempted release. Yet even so, the urgency built to a level nearing pain, flushing Odd’s face bright pink and making him gasp.

“You’re getting harder inside?” Zim’s prehensile felt the straining of Odd’s anatomy to fulfill its duty. He continued to grind his length against the hardening, pushing away repeated rising climaxes, but each came harder than the last.

Odd shrieked. His prostate clenched under the alien appendage attempting to control it as an orgasmic pulse rippled through him, followed by a second carrying his long-awaited release. His urethra bulged within Zim’s grip, erupting in jets of pent-up watery cum, splatting everything in the area. Zim’s continued manipulation of Odd’s internals was joined by several of his own thrusts into the human, combining to intensify and prolong the orgasm to such an extent Odd’s mind began to swim, approaching black out.

“You were right! This is clearly the weakness of humanity, never have I seen a human so incapacitated!” Zim screamed in excitement, unperturbed by the strands of cloudy fluid dripping from his face; yet through his boasting, his thrusts continued, pushing the still-cumming Odd partially onto his chest.

“Yes, I have found it, I have- I- What is this, this feel- feeling?” Zim closed his eyes, clenched his teeth, and released a crescendo of slams into Odd’s ass, before burying himself fully and tensing. Odd, just recovering from his orgasm, felt another wave of it come over him as the first blast of Zim’s orgasm shot through the appendage in him, bulging it to nearly twice its size at points. Each release came as a gushing so deep inside him he felt it near his ribs, pushing waves of alien jizz as far as it could go.

“Good thing you made some room ahead of time,” Odd said with a laugh, causing Zim to squirm and release a final, larger squirt, before the pulsations stopped completely.

The two lay in a heap, panting. Zim remained inside Odd, but he could feel the alien shrinking, sliding out.

“Well, that was something,” Odd remarked, pushing himself off Zim and planting his back against the armrest. Zim’s retracting length fell out of him onto the couch, uncorking a flood of blue alien cum, which poured onto both the couch and Zim.

“What was that?” Zim asked. Odd could tell it wasn’t rhetorical; he simultaneously looked completely defeated, yet fully accomplished.

“You came,” Odd answered, dipping a finger into himself and drawing it back out, covered in the blue cum.

“We’re not supposed to be able to do that. We are reproduced by cloning. Don’t you think we tried? Don’t you think we would do that if we could?”

“Maybe it just takes more work than you put in. You lasted longer than me, that’s an accomplishment.” Odd licked his finger. Orangina? The color didn’t match, but it somehow made sense. “Or maybe you just never met someone as perfectly hot as me.”

Zim groaned in annoyance. “Irken are not attracted to alien excrement!”

“I didn’t say that, but that’s what us humans call Freudian,” Odd laughed at his own double entendre.

“SILENCE!” Zim jumped to his feet, attempting to take an imposing stance; yet any imposition was undone by his flopping penis still dripping down his leg, not helped by human semen coating his face. “I must investigate this discovery further!”

“I guess there’s just no pleasing some people.” Odd leaned back, hanging slightly over the armrest.

“GIR! Take the human back where you found it, I have work to do!”

“Kiss and run? At least I’m not the type to complain.” Odd laughed as the small robot appeared in the living room.

“I wanna be covered in cum, too!” GIR picked Odd up, lifting him fully above himself, sending a blast of alien jizz out of Odd onto his head.

“UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, DISGUSTING EARTH CREATURE! Also, GIR, get me a croissant while you’re there.”

“YES SIR!” GIR responded, his eyes briefly flashing red. “I’m gonna knock you out now,” he said to Odd.

“Wait, wha-?” Odd barely managed before GIR bashed his head against the door frame, knocking him senseless.

~Kadic incidental music~

“What happened?” Odd said as he awoke. He had a splitting headache, but the comment was directed more at the unusually vivid dream stuck in his head.

“The morning came. It’s time to get up, Odd. If you’re late again this week you’ll lose a full grade,” Ulrich said, pulling on a shirt.

Odd rubbed the sides of his head, trying to push away the pain. “Alright, alright.” He pulled off his blankets and stood.

“Geeze, Odd, when did you start sleeping naked? Put some pants on, no one wants to see that thing.”

Looking down, Odd saw Ulrich was right – he was completely naked, missing his usual undershirt and boxers. He covered his crotch with his hands, entirely for the benefit of Ulrich’s modesty and not to feign having any himself.

After throwing on clothes – at least, the ones he could still find – Odd stopped by the boy’s room to answer a single, burning question. He ran into a stall and threw across the lock, pulling down his pants.

“This could go really badly,” he commented as he placed two of his fingers under his anus. With a squeeze, he felt a dribble of warm fluid fall on them. He peered down at what coated them.

“I knew it! Best in the universe! Take that, Ulrich!”


End file.
